Eat, Pray, Love
Recap of the last couple of months here in the Philippines:
Basically I ate, and ate, and ate my weights worth of sansrival, tapa, pasta, and cornetto ice cream. My first couple of months reminded me of the first three chapters of Eat, Pray, Love where the main character jetset to Italy in search of the culture, language, and most importantly.. the scrumptious food.
I indulged myself with food, with the simple excuse that I was in dire need of wifi (I WAS!!). Gluttony was my name, I’m so glad I didn’t gain too much weight, that would have been horrid haha! But really, I ate so much that I thought I would burst!
Maybe a month passed and I went to one of the first go-sees I’ve been to in a couple of months. I had almost forgotten how skinny the models are here!!! Usually I’ll go to the gosees meant for the mestizoes or foreign looking models, but felt quite ambitious that day and gave it a go.
I remember going into the room and then ten of us went in front of a panel of casters, they took pics, got our set cards, yada yada… but what remained with me from that day was after the casting. I knew I didn’t get it because they wanted someone who definitely looked asian.. and I could pass for a plethora of races.. patay! haha. So I wasn’t disappointed at all, next time! But this girl was sitting next to me, on the verge of tears. Literally grazing the edge of her lashes were these full droplets of tears. I took out some food from my purse and started eating, some cheese bread junk.. and asked her if she wanted one.
She looked up at me and wiped away her tears, “Are you crazy?! After this I’m not going to eat for a week!” She spewed at me. So angry, so bitter. I was just looking at this stick thin girl with daddy long legs and thought to myself, tough crowd lol..
Now, not going to get into detail about our convo- but she told me about how modeling was her only source of income, how she can’t eat because she has to keep that weight, that she has to keep her skin white and clear so she can fit her peg… She warmed after a while and I told her she’s pretty and to EAT, it’s not healthy to skip meals hun.
So, this reminded me of what people have told me..
For me, modeling is just fun. Walking down the ramp and look like you have no cares in the world, wearing clothes and make up you’d never dare to wear outside of your house and totally rockin’ it! Taking pics and throwing all your inhibitions away to get that crazy shot, out of this world really. Then there’s people who NEED it. People who pay for their eduction and to help their parents pay for the groceries.. Someone called it being “HUNGRY.”
One thing I wish is that people knew how beautiful they really are. I think it starts inside and works it’s way out. Finding something about yourself that makes you so incredibly unique or finding something your so passionate about and immersing yourself in it.. So many people just need someone to tell them: Look, you’re beautiful- now go out there and create something. You can do anything with your life, isn’t that already something to be excited and happy about?
When I lived in Los Angeles, everyone looked so different.. Like snowflakes under the microscope. All people, but different aspects showing. Coming here, I told myself that I’ll stay true to me- buutttt wouldn’t mind improving myself (learning to sing and dance, reading more, learning). But how many times have I been advised to lighten my skin, to lose my boobs, or to dye/straighten my hair? How many times have make up artists told me that I should thicken my eyebrows because that’s the “IN” thing?
Hahahaha, so I’ve really come to love love love the makeup artists or stylists that told me to stay the same, you have so many brownie points!!!
I’m not going to change how I look. Period. Maybe I’ll start dressing more like everyone here because… it’s so damn hot lol! But I have a voluptuous and curvy body, I have boobs that won’t go away, no matter how hard I work out. My bones are a little bigger and heavier than most girls here, they are very very blessed to have small and skinny frames! When I’m white, I look ghastly, ghostly, pale, oh goodness, like I’ve been dipped in a bowl of powder! I look much better tanned and kissed by the sun. & My hair? It’s a part of my body and I terribly dislike doing anything that destroys it. So I’ll leave the rebonding alone. I’m me, and that’s all I’ll ever be.
Note: It was only this model who was in a bad mood lol, most of the models here that I know are so friendly and blessed with skinny bodies and sharp jaw lines! It was the models attitude that struck me.
So eat that last piece of cake sexy! ;D
It’s holy week, how coincidental that my journey of eating had ended so abruptly before this week. I still have an ever present stock of granola bars in my purse though!! :)
I’m been finding so much inspiration in the past weeks. Open Doors, Open Minds, Open Hearts. So many years ago that I’ve learned this and now I’m putting it into practice once again. Inspirations comes so fast through the most random vehicles.
Maybe it’s fate, serendipity, or destiny, who knows. Some things come together like a puzzle. I can see the quilt of life being sewn in front of my eyes like deja vu, it’s all falling into place how it’s supposed to. I guess all everyone has to do is have faith and always try! Nothing will happen on it’s own unless you get the gears moving.
My mind is open, I’m devouring books left and right. Won’t someone grab coffee with me and run around the aisles of Fully Booked? I’d be excited like it’s Easter and all the books are eggs. So many huevos! ;D
Then there’s yoga, meditating to the point I felt like I almost fell asleep, or did I? Feeling like the heroine of Eat Pray Love and thinking that a bird might sit on top my head!
Then there’s music, the most therapeutic thing in my life right now, but I’ll get back to that later..
What kind of person moves to another city in search of love right away?! So silly to think, though it’s romantic in such a sappy way. Love comes when it comes :)
But really, I’ve been adopted by a family. I fell in love with them and claimed them as my own haha. I met them as I was attempting to learn how to sing, and we bonded over food and chismis. All of a sudden, I have a Tita, younger sister and a kuya all in one day! I think that’s on of the better aspects of love, the unromantic family kind.
With real heart pounding, toe curling, butterfly in the stomach inducing love? I’ll get there when I get there ;D